Am I over-reacting? I think my FIL is soooo rude to do this?



My Father in law loves to make suggestions when he comes over, such as: what not or what to feed my daughter! (she’s 10 months old) Everthing I feed her is not good for her in his eyes. I think it’s great chickpeas, beans, green veggies, pasta, fruit etc.
Then it’s about what groceries I buy.He will ask my husband “where did she buy this fish” and if it’s not from where he buys it he says it’s not good fish & you should only buy it where he buys it. Then we were cutting up salami the other day and he says this salami is not good, you have to buy this certain brand only! But he doesn’t tell me, he tells my husband and then my husband runs over to tell me that I shouldn’t buy that brand or that fish, and I always say OUT LOUD so his dad can hear ” I get what I like, or what’s avalable to me, I’m not gonna run all over town with a baby to get certain things.” He does this everytime he comes over!! I think it’s wrong. Especially when you invite yourself to dinner EVERY Sunday. If you are a guest, you should keep your mouth shut in my opinion. what do you think. Am I right or Wrong?


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16 comments a "Am I over-reacting? I think my FIL is soooo rude to do this?"

Give him your grocery list so he can go buy the right stuff and see what he says to that

You are right, that is rude. It will not stop until your husbands says, “hey Dad, I appreciate your concern, but (insert your name here) does a great job shopping for our family and I trust her judgement.” If FIL doesn’t get the hint, your hubby will have to let him know that you don’t care where he gets his food but you will get yours where you want to. Good luck, and remember he is family and could be a lot worse.

you’re right. he’s wrong. he has no right to say that. it’s rude enough to invite himself to dinner every sunday but even ruder still to complain about you behind your back.

Ok, It’s time to have a “talk” with your husband first, then your FIL next. You need to set some ground rules regarding the FIL. Then you tell your husband to grow some balls! Good Luck :-)

honestly, there’s nothing you can do. do you watch “everybody loves raymond”? lol

he’s a man. an older man at that, and you can’t change him. i would just let it go and not let it bother me. my FIL acts similar, but i don’t let it get to me. sometimes i’ll be a bigger as him, which sometimes shuts him up.

if you can’t let it go, talk to him. what else can you do? men aren’t mind readers. he probably thinks he’s funny. tell him you appreaciate his concern, but sometimes it crosses the line into insulting.

good luck

I think you should stop inviting him over to eat. I can see why this is annoying but I definitely would just shut him out and not listen to him if it bothers you that much.

join a book club that meets every sunday nights.

It’s not you FIL business and your husband needs to grow a back bone and have a chat with his dad about his remarks and opinions. If your hubby cant do it you need to put your FIL aside and talk to him about it with all respect:)
If that dont work, come Sunday he might just get a belly ache with you dinner.. wink, wink:)
Good Luck!

For me you are so right i have two kids and i know how it feels to go out to the store and it hard really hard. is your child you do watever is best for them. just because they dont like wat u get cuz is not the same brand. is the stupid thing i ever heard. n if they dont like it then instead of going to ur place go to theirs and they can put watever they want in the table.

It’s all in how he is saying it.

If he is just an guy saying “you get the best salami at such and such a place, man, that is good salami!” then he means no harm by it.

Or if he is saying it so you know where to get good salami, then that’s ok too.

But if he is being critical, or implying you don’t know how to take care of your baby, then he’s in the wrong.

Husband needs to not come skadoodling over to you and whispering in your ear what daddy wants him to do. He should grow a set, seriously. However, have you talked to your husband about this? I mean, maybe he is telling you what dad said to make his dad feel like his opinion matters, to boost his dad up or make his dad feel like he is contributing. Your husband may simply consider it small talk and not mean that you should take it so seriously.

Life is too short to get upset over this. this may be his personality so id just let it go. one day you will look back and maybe miss this. (years from now of course.) he probably thinks he is being helpful. maybe he doesnt feel needed so this may be his way. i would continue to say that you like that brand or just ignore his comments all together. maybe he’ll get the point. but i wouldnt let it become a rift between the two of you. be grateful you have a father in law that comes to visit his grandbaby :) he’ll see what a great job you’re doing even if he doesnt show it.

I think you married a man with no spine, because people would only be comfortable making comments like that in such a man’s house. Why is your husband running back and forth telling you what his father says like he is a 4th grade girl passing notes?

The only thing you can do is tell your FIL exactly what you said here, or get your husband to do it if you temporarily let him have his sack from your purse.

You are absolutely right.
He has no right to tell you what to buy for your household.
If the old man wants to buy your groceries for you, then he can run to his favorite stores and buy the brands he wants.

It is rude – but it is easier to ignore it then try to change it.

My 80 year old mom lives with me and she never lets 5 minutes go by without telling me what i should be doing and how i should be doing it.

Parents spend at least 18 years telling their kids what to do – it’s hard to let go of the feeling that you need to keep telling them long after they are grown.

Smile and drink wine .. it works for me … :P

We owe everything we are to our parents – be respectful to them even when they overstep into your adult life. It makes them still feel needed when they are handing out advice :) Everyone wants to feel needed and useful.

Tell your b*tch-a.s.s husband to man up.

Sorry. I’m PMS’ing today, and this scenario gave me flashbacks to my ex-FIL. He was the same damn way. Criticized EVERY damn thing I did. Only I didn’t wait for my then husband to handle. Told him a thing or two a time or two.

It stopped.

It could be how your FIL shows love for his grandchild. The problem is your husband running to you. He can thank his Dad for his suggestions, sometimes saying maybe we’ll have to try that, and sometimes saying it’s really up to ______(your name) and I think she does a great job.

At times I have said to my husband, “Do you really want to pick this fight with me?” or “Do you really want to go there?” Hubby needs to make sure YOU are happy. If he can also make Dad happy that is a bonus, but you are the priority.

I expect my husband to defend me from his family and I take his side with my family. I also overlook some things because I love my husband. Good luck

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